There’s a habit of mind that the masters have,” Gottman explained in an interview, “which is this: they are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.
Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Research has shown that kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved. “My bounty is as boundless as the sea,” says Shakespeare’s Juliet. “My love as deep; the more I give to thee, / The more I have, for both are infinite.” That’s how kindness works too: there’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.
May you always be surrounded with love
Every breath you take is sweet and good
See, Know, Recognize Goodness in You - Others - Everything
May your lives Be Long
Be free from harm
Wishes Given from Goodness Within
Received from Goodness Within
Be united as one, in love forever.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (Paul’s Letter to Corinthians)
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends… so faith, hope, and love abide, but the greatest of these is love.
Real love is identifiable by the way it makes us feel. Love should feel good. There is a peaceful quality to an authentic experience of love that penetrates to our core, touching a part of ourselves that has always been there. True love activates this inner being, filling us with warmth and light. An authentic experience of love does not ask us to look a certain way, drive a certain car, or have a certain job. It takes us as we are, no changes required. When someone truly loves us, their love for us awakens our love for ourselves. They remind us that what we seek outside of ourselves is a mirror image of the lover within. In this way, true love never makes us feel needy or lacking or anxious. Instead, true love empowers us with its implicit message that we are, always have been, and always will be, made of love.
To love is to remember and keep alive forever all those unique qualities that drew you to one another in the beginning.... Those first halting phrase...the thrill of discovery.... That wonderful feeling of oneness when your eyes met.
To love is to constantly search for new ways to bring each other to happiness, to make the most of every moment you share together, and marvel at how your feelings for one another keep rising to new dimensions.
To love is to create an oasis of tranquility for one another and a quiet place, apart from others, where you need not pretend...where you can be yourselves.... And know within your hearts, you will be accepted by one another. To love is to greet each day with anticipation...Always eager for another opportunity to share new adventures...And gather up new memories TOGETHER!
To love is to follow the rainbow through the rain, to be able to laugh at yourselves and be willing to say...."I was wrong, I'm sorry"...To forgive, and more importantly, to FORGET, and to always believe and trust in one another.
To love is to watch with wonder all the miracles of creation, to find beauty in all the simple things of life, and to find, within ourselves, a deeper appreciation and a new awareness of how wonderful it is to be alive...To be happy...To be…TOGETHER.
To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward...Hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare.... And always believe that all things are possible with faith and love.
The Apache Wedding Prayer: Now you will feel no rain, For each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, For each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness, For each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two bodies, But there is one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place, To enter into the days of your togetherness. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
The Apache Wedding Blessing (long version)
Now you will feel no storms, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no loneliness, for each of you is companion to the other, You are two persons, but there is one life before you, and one home. Turn together to look at the road you traveled, to reach this---the hour of your happiness. It stretches behind you into the past. Look to the future that lies ahead. A long and winding, adventure-filled road, whose every turn means discovery, new hopes, new joys, new laughter, and a few shared tears. May happiness be your companion, May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead; And through all the years to come. Go this day to your dwelling place and enter into your days together. May your days be good and long upon the earth. Your adventure has just begun!
Friendship and Love
We have come together from near and far to celebrate your lives as individuals and to bestow our blessings upon you as you begin a magical journey together as husband and wife. We have come together to witness the creation of a brand new family, and to share in the joy of that moment with you. Your marriage will develop a true friendship between you and that friendship must be strong and able to withstand the tests of time. Remember that when you are a true friend to someone you want to spend time with them; you want to share with them; care for them when they are sick spiritually or physically; you want to learn new things with them; you want to change with them; you want to grow in truth with them; and you want to experience all that life has to offer with them. Through this process you will wind-up on the same page together, and that is the secret to having peace and happiness in your lives. Take responsibility for making the other one to feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your relationship deserves. Never allow anything to be more important than the one you have chosen to spend your life together with.
This is a passage from "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
"When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility, it is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting as it is now. For relationships, too, must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the security of the winged life, of the ebb and flow of intermittency."
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.
May God be with you and bless you;
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune
Rich in blessings,
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.
May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace.
May your troubles grow few as your blessings increase.
May the saddest day of your future
Be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May your hands be forever clasped in friendship
And your hearts joined forever in love
Two doves meeting in the sky
Two loves hand in hand eye to eye
Two parts of a loving whole
Two hearts and a single soul
Two stars shining big and bright
Two fires bringing warmth and light
Two songs played in perfect tune
Two flowers growing into bloom
Two Doves gliding in the air
Two loves free without a care
Two parts of a loving whole
Two hearts and a single soul
EXCERPT FROM 100 LOVE SONNETS
~ By Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: Where “I” does not exist, nor “You”, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
HOW DO I LOVE THEE
~ By Elizabeth Barrett Browning ~
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
IN LOVE MADE VISIBLE
~ By Mary Swenson ~
In love are we made visible
As in a magic bath
to the sharp pit
so long concealed
With love's alertness
the soundless whimper
of the soul
behind the eyes
A shaft opens
and the timid thing
at last leaps to surface
with full-spread wing
The fingertips of love discover
more than the body's smoothness
They uncover a hidden conduit
for the transfusion
of empathies that circumvent
the mind's intrusion
In love we are set free
and flesh no longer insulate us
to ourselves alone
We are released
and flow into each other's cup
Our two frail vials pierced
drink each other up
Opening & Closing Quotes
1. He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.
- Leo Tolstoy
2. "You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." — George Moore
3. "Love doesn't sit there like a stone. It has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new." — Ursula K. Le Guin
4. "Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." — F. Burton Howard
5. "Love me and the world is mine." — David Reed
6. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." — Mignon McLaughlin
7. "Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together." — Barbara Cage
8. "You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you, and then you meet one person and your life is changed forever." — Love and Other Drugs9. "There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage." — Martin Luther
10. "Sometimes I do wake up in the mornings and feel like I've just had the most incredible dream. I've just dreamt my life." — Richard Branson
11. "To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever." — Henry Drummond
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
Where there is love there is life.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~Aristotle
Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.